Stalkers rejoice

November 29, 2007

Technology has both helped and hindered stalkers over the years, that’s for sure. 0 and 411 let you get anyone’s number back in the day.  Then *69 came along and allowed people to do call backs.  Bummer for you, Mister Heavy Breather.  Don’t worry though, the net allowed you to check out people on and later GoogleStalk them.  But bogus!  Now most phones have CallerId on them – that cute waitress will know it’s you and avoid your calls!

But don’t worry: Stop doing searches on myspace for all of the friends of the cheerleader that won’t talk to you.  Because you don’t need it anymore: Enter the PocketFinder!  From the safety of your creepy basement apartment, you can use a web browser to track people.  Just buy the cute little key fob tracking device and mount it to the underside of your ex-boyfriend’s car.  For 10 days until the device needs charging, you can figure out where that low down no-good-for-nothing cheating bastard is going!

How can lawsuits not result from this product?  Don’t get me wrong, it obviously has great uses.  But these things better have a unique MAC-address type of identifier to track back to the purchaser.  This is like a horror movie plot:  Imagine you’re a parent and your child comes home from school, pulls out their homework, and one of these falls out of the bookbag onto the floor.  Except you never bought one.  Yikes.  These types of tracking plot devices have been in movies and TV shows for years.  But never available to the public slickly packaged in real life for $100.

I smell yet another “Can Do vs. Should Do” situation – what happens in 10 years when this device costs $25 and is the size of a grain of rice?  I can drop them in my employees’ laptop bags, not to track the laptops for asset management, but track them?  Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea.  I’m hiding one in my girlfriend’s car immediately so I can see what stores she goes to in buying me Christmas presents.  I’ll be sitting in my office: “Gah!  She’s at Bed Bath and Beyond still?  There’s a MicroCenter nearby!  DrivedDriveDrive!  Yes, that’s it, almost there…No!  She drove straight past and is parking at the Candle store???”


2 Responses to “Stalkers rejoice”

  1. nixternal Says:

    “Gah! She’s at Bed Bath and Beyond still? There’s a MicroCenter nearby! DrivedDriveDrive! Yes, that’s it, almost there…No! She drove straight past and is parking at the Candle store???”

    OMG! I just spit soda all over the place! That is way to funny man.

  2. Torsten Rahn Says:

    I guess she just tracked you on her own laptop and wanted to make fun of you 😉

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