There is always a master and apprentice
August 27, 2007
Will the real sith lord please stand up? We all know full well that a Sith lord basically focuses on:
- Shooting lightning from their fingers and cackling
- Wearing just the right hooded cloak to make them look menacing
- Using repetitive catch phrases like “Prepare to witness the power of the Dark Side ™ !”
- Rising to power through chaos and misdirection
- Making their apprentice do the grunt work (which is probably why the apprentice ends up offing the master)
(Inappropriate post continues)So, with that being said, who is the Sith Lord of today? Cheney or the Pope? This debate is really causing dissent amongst my friends. And since confusion is a tool of the Dark Side ™, you know their powers are working full tilt.
The battle of power and influence between the secular states and the religious ranks have been waged for years, often spectacularly (Charlemagne or Constantine eras for example).
Who has more of an impact on the life of the typical global citizen? The papacy or the White House? If Bush is the apprentice of Cheney, who ponders wistfully on a balcony “At last we will have revenge” with Benedict? These are the questions that need to be asked. However, the Pope’s Cardinals look worrisomely like the Sith Royal Guard; done on purpose by Lucas? You can see each stance has supporting evidence.
I offer the following four exhibits to the court for review:
Note: I recognize full well the inappropriate nature of this post on the Planet. I’m cashing in my Politics and Religion chips all at once. I haven’t written anything sufficiently inflammatory for a while, does this get me current? If you happen to be Catholic and declare “How dare you!” or you posit “But if Cheney is a Sith lord, does that make Iraqi insurgents actually the lovable rebel force?” you’re taking this post too seriously. And plus…I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Honestly, back off: We haven’t even discussed who then is the modern Yoda and if we’re insulting any region by calling it Dagobah. An adapted screenplay is forthcoming.
The point is: It’s tough to tell which is more likely to yell “Un…limited…POWAH!” while throwing Samuel L. Jackson from a building. And it can’t be both. Unless they’re secretly the same person, like Michael and Janet Jackson. Which would be very Sith-like. Wait, I might have just answered my own question. Pope Cheney?